If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
