The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
