I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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