it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
