I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
