Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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