he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
