Farmville is her only friend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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