allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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