i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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