I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize