Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
