I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
