i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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