Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
