Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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