What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
