he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
