The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize