hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
