I'm jealous of your bromance
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
