I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
