"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
