I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
