My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize