are you still at the devil's house?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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