On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
