no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
