I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
