Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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