How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
