I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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