Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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