Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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