The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
