He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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