He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize