i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
