she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
