Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
