im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
