3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
