Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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