absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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