just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
