ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
