it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
