all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
