i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just used a chaser for red wine.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
