Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
