Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
