p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When did angry sex become our thing?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
