I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
