my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
