Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
