as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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