you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
