That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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