You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
